Aging

The older you get, the more slowly you age.

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Over 30

(If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!)

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…uphill BOTH ways
yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I
had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that…

I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice
the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy!
I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dang Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got
it!

1. When I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the freakin’ library and look it up ourselves – – – in the
card catalog!!

2. There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter…with a
pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Never mind the ‘send’ key…

3. There were no MP3’s or Napster! You wanted to steal music, you had
to walk to the “record” store and shoplift it yourself! *Or you had to wait
around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over
the beginning and @#*% it all up! *

4. We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and
somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!

5. And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your
bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You
had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

6. We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘ Space
Invaders ‘ and ‘asteroids’ and the graphics were horrible! Your guy was a
little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could
never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and
faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

7. When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad
with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed! Nowadays
you can buy a dvd of a movie 4 months after you saw in the theater—back then you waited
almost 5 years before they showed it, edited for television, as the Movie of the Week.

8. Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no on screen menu! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
And there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons!

9. And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had
to use the stove or go build a fire … imagine that! If we wanted popcorn,
we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing or a pan with HOT oil and Real
popcorn kernels and shake it all over the stove forever like an idiot.

10. When we were on the phone with our friends and our parents walked-in, we
were stuck to the wall with a cord, a 7 foot cord that ran to the phone –
not the phone base, the actual phone. We barely had enough length to sit on
the floor and still be able to twirl the phone cord in our fingers. If you
suddenly had to go to the bathroom – guess what we had to do…..hang up and
talk to them later.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.
You’re spoiled.

You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd